Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ok, I'm trying not to panic

This is not what I planned. I thought I had everything figured out. When I got pregnant with my son, the plan was that my husband would be graduating from university just as I had my son. I didn't plan for a global recession to hit, right as I got pregnant. Engineers were in high demand before the recession but now companies have laid off thousands of employees and have hiring freezes. My husband took an internship position with lower pay because it was better than nothing, plus I was still getting my maternity benefits (thank you government of Canada!),

So now, his contract is up in a week, my maternity benefits just stopped. On top of that, my husband had to delay graduation last summer because they only told him a few weeks before graduation that he was missing a class. Since last year, the university changed the course requirements, and because he's graduating this year, he's not exempt from the changes. He's missing one credit. Fuuuuuck. So now he has to scramble to write a 20 pages technical report BY MONDAY in order to graduate. The alternative is delaying graduation yet again. My poor husband is so stressed, I can easily see him giving up and not finishing school because of this. I'm trying to stay positive (and stay out of his way) but I'm finding it hard.

He's come so far it would break my heart if he didn't finish school. Just as as was finishing up my master's degree, Rick went back to school. High school. He had never finished because he got in with a bad crowd, and I suspect a bit of a learning disability too. So I worked not in my field to help support us as he went back to school. Only fair since he had supported me through (too) many years of university. He got his high school diploma at the age of 32 and started university.

You can see why I don't want him to give up when he's so close.

I was supposed to stay home with Alex for a few years. Now I'm thinking I might have to go back sooner. I can't even go back to my not-so-great job where I was under paid, under appreciated, and over educated because my employer had to replace me with three people. I worked so much overtime that three part time employees took the place of one full time position. So now what? I don't have a daycare lined up and I don't even know where to start looking for a job.

Hopefully Rick can find a job sooner than later. I really don't want to have to move in with my dad. I shudder at the thought of it.

I keep singing "just keep swimming, just keep swimming". Ah Disney has all the answers.


Anonymous said...

Eww. I'm sure the paper will get finished (even if it means copious amounts of coffee and vodka are consumed in your home over the next few days...)

If you're able to find a reasonable job (, try looking for dayhomes. They're usually more able than (good) daycares to take kids last-mintes.

And best of luck... I can understand a lot of your stress. (Eugh.)

pinkbrain said...

Thanks Natalie.

Hopefully Rick finds a job so I don't have to just yet. Alex is somewh at fearful of strangers (or family members really) so I know he's not quite ready for childcare.

P.S. I always enjoy your displeasure onomatopoeia sounds. Eugh!

Wombat Central said...

So I just found your blog today and realize this is his deadline day foe the paper. Thinking postive thoughts for you guys...

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