Friday, November 12, 2010

Dreading the holidays

Ok so it's 43 days until Christmas. There is way too much build-up for one day. I've been getting "what does Alex want for Christmas?" since the beginning of October. I'm seriously not a fan of Christmas. It's not all bad. I like wrapping presents, twinkly lights, the smell of real Christmas trees. There's something magical about snow on Christmas (but it can kindly disappear Dec 26th). 

I used to like the holidays, Oh that excitement as a kid, waiting for Santa to arrive. I always left out cookies and milk for him, and some carrots for the reindeer. I remember barely able to sleep in anticipation. I would usually be the first one up on Christmas day, and I'd go and wake up my sister. We were allowed to open our stockings before our parents got up, but we'd have to wait until my parents finally got coffee into them to open the presents.

But. Then. My mom died. Four days before Christmas. I was 14 at the time. I knew she was sick, but I didn't know she was dying (very long story for another post). They didn't want to ruin my Christmas. So it's not my favourite holiday. I'm sure it's true for a lot of people. It's not just about family, and presents for many more it brings up sadness and loneliness. So no, I'm not a fan of decorations everywhere, horrible Christmas music (Sorry Bing, I can't stand you most of all). I do like to look at Martha Stewart Living and drool over the pretty parcels and delicious looking cookies. It's not all bad.

As a cruel twist of fate, my husband lost his dad three years ago. Eight days before Christmas.

I'm hoping that Alex will bring some cheer back into our holidays.
You know, like Cindy Lou Who did for the Grinch.